Dear Mr. 'postrophe:

I'm an avid film lover and huge fan of series TV on television.  After a busy day, I love to turn on the tube and enjoy a show.  The problem is my wife.  She has horrible taste in TV and even worse in film.  We can never agree on a decent show to watch.  Can you offer any suggestions?

Estranger in an Estrangeland.

Dear Essss:

Sometimes it's hard to bridge cultural gaps without the aid of knowledge, compromise, or respect.  Which does beg the question, why did you marry this person?  Surely a marriage built upon such toilet paper pedestals would have crumbled into the tepid Formosan sea, warmed with the nuclear runoff of myopic short-term goals, systemic regulation failures, and virally endemic corruption.  (I'm talking about your marriage crisis, not the Nuclear Energy scandals in Taiwan.)    

As for your Entertainment Crisis, the entire set of all magnum opi in the entirety of film -- I'm talking about every film that was ever or will ever be made, envies the suspension of disbelief you white guys impart with your Mannequinian mateship.  How much intimacy did you really hope to achieve?  I'm guessing TV isn't the only point of departure in your bungled union with this significant other.  Shouldn't the question be something like, How can I achieve more substantial mental intimacy and mind meld with my partner?  How can I begin foraging a bridge across the chasm left by the hostage of my orgasm?  

Turn off the TV.  Turn on your wife.  Less escape and more escapades.  With enough patience, hard work, and knowledge, I'm confident you will be able to enjoy every season of Friends with her eventually.